Day 5: How I discovered that I am lovable!

As we sit here sipping wine on our anniversary road trip to Ojai, I reflect back on the beginning months of our relationship. When we were putting on our Sunday’s best, showing up with the excitement of spring after a long, harsh winter, we were so in love and enraptured with each other. With any relationship, the new car smell fades and the roller coaster slows down. It’s time to get real and show up unapologetically. Here is where 85% of relationships end.    

This may come as a shock to some of you (enter sarcasm here) but I have somewhat of a controlling manner. So much so that it hasn’t always been easy for me to let people in. In an effort to control others perception of me, I hide behind a protective layer, that way others can’t see my flaws and my imperfections. Although I am getting better by opening up and loosening my grip around controlling others reactions, there is only one person who I have fully removed the mask for. My partner Jose is the first person I’ve felt 100% comfortable with exposing myself, bottom up, top down and inside out, he sees the good, the bad, the ugly AND I talk a lot.. like A LOT so he also hears all of it. My mentor Layla Martin asked me: How does it feel to be totally loved by someone that you are sexually attracted to? To which I replied, “Like I’ve won the lottery!” Having a partner who really sees you and then loves you even more for what you show him is one of the sexiest qualities in a man.

So I ask, what do you need to be true in order to feel loved?

What I have come to realize is that we want to be loved for who we are but yet we are so scared to show up as our authentic selves. Is it the fear of not being fully loved or is it that we ourselves don't really know who we are? So here is my challenge for you, in the next 5 days open up to someone, tell them your deepest truth, your biggest insecurity.  Don’t be afraid to do something out of your comfort zone. Put yourself out there, be raw, be exposed, be your beautiful authentic you!

Please feel free to share in comments, as I’d love to hear how it went and how you felt.

 Ojai, 2017

Ojai, 2017