It's understanding what turns you on and then asking for it.
I was watching the show Slutever the other day which airs on Viceland when I had a HUGE epiphany. The episode I was watching was about the lifestyle of a domanatrix and their subs. If you haven't seen the show the take away is accepting all forms of sexuality that are authentic to the individual. As I was watching it hit me. I LOVE surrendering during sex, the just lying there and receiving kind of surrender. The thought brought up a memory of a past lover who once asked why I was being still.. to which I responded "because it felt good, i'm taking it all in." In that moment I was completely relaxed and letting go but the judgment on what I found pleasurable stuck with me.
This newly found awareness sparked an electric buzz through my vagina as well as a curiosity in my other sex organ - my brain. So I grabbed my partner and went into sexual exploration. I told him my desire of just lying there and receiving, and that I might not make much noise or move a lot but to know that its normal, that I am just going to receive.
In this space of deep surrender, acceptance and consciousness.. something incredible happened.. I began to breathe huge deep cleansing breaths that traveled my pleasure up and down my body, stoping at every chakra to fill with healing light. I felt so alive, the pleasure radiating throughout my entire body, I started screaming YES YES YES!!! Celebrating with joyous cries of ecstasy.
I'm getting turned on writing this...
That is just one piece of my authentic sexuality. Cannabis being another but that is for another day..
Your Queen of Pleasure, Carli Jo
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